Bhopal trip report

I have just shifted my bum from Bhopal to Ahmedabad via Jabalpur-Veraval Exp. I returned with a kilo of soan papdi. There in Bhopal my day went as follows - my  bum kept shifting from the bed in my house  to the western loo ( base camp) of that house to the chairs in the house  to the auto to the trust office chair (where i released my first fart of the day in  the cushion). From here my bum shifted from the now nice smelling cushioned chair to the auto to the sarkari or NGO's office chairs ( where i released the third and fourth farts). From there my bum shifted back to the auto to the trust office chair to the auto and then finally back to base camp my western loo. Here my bum released methane (CH4) along with other natural gases from the digestion of the following - Tandoori chicken, eggs, dosas and tali meals,  which heralded the release of ........ From there i retired to the bed whose matress took the brunt of the gases being released time to time.